a school of repentance

I've been neglecting my writing for too long, so as a way of return, I've decided to do some free-thought Lenten writing using Alexander Schmemann's The Great Lent: A School of Repentance (which is currently free on Kindle) as a guide to my own thinking process.

He begins his book thusly, 

Brethren, while fasting bodily, let us also fast spiritually; let us loosen every bond of injustice; let us destroy the strong fetters of violence; let us tear up every unjust writing; let us give bread to the hungry and let us welcome the homeless poor to our houses, that from Christ our God we may receive the great mercy.

Schmemann then goes on to describe the meaning and intention behind the Sundays of Preparation. I must say, given my baptisty (read: anti-Catholic) upbringing, my newfound appreciation for the Church calendar still did not prepare me for a three week "pre-Lent" period (I mean, come on, isn't 40 days of feeling bad about stuff enough?)!  Needless to say, I did not observe the Sundays of Preparation this year, but hope to include them in my own personal observances next year if not incorporate them into the liturgies of my community.

First of all the practicalities: last year I gave up Facebook for Lent and it was great!  So great, that I still have yet to reopen my account.  This year I'm giving up refined sugar (sorry, Details Pharisees, I'm not going to be spending much time hunting labels for sugar's many cousins.  The general idea is rather to give up sweets and the obviously-sugared), and my wife and I are giving up evening-tv.

As I've been pondering and writing for our Ash Wednesday service this evening, I think the thing that is striking me the hardest as Lent begins is my own lack of remorse over sin, and my lack of acknowledgement of my own frailty.  It's my hope and prayer is that, as painful as the school of repentance will (most likely) turn out to be, I'll arrive at Easter more brokenhearted for my sin, more aware of my own certain death.